Amber and Nathalies world

The night lay still over our world. Not a sound could be heard except for the gentle rustle of the wind blowing through the dark streets. The shutters of the surrounding houses were still closed, their inhabitants deep in their dreams. Only the three of us were awake. But we didn’t know what was going to happen. We only sensed that something was different. That something was going to happen that had never happened before.

I couldn’t shake off the unease. Mario had been unusually quiet over the last few days. He had smiled, but differently than usual - more mysteriously, as if he was carrying a big secret with him. It wasn’t a distant silence, but one full of expectation. As if he was thinking about something he couldn’t tell us yet, but really wanted to. An uneasy feeling spread through me. I looked at Nathalie. Her fingers were nervously playing with the fabric of her dress and when our eyes met, I could see it clearly in her eyes - she could feel it too. A restlessness that stirred deep inside us and prevented us from experiencing the silence of this night as peaceful.

Nathalie and I were sitting next to each other on the chairs in the entrance area of our house. The door was open. Mario had never left a door so wide open before. Never before had he so recklessly risked us being visible from outside. But now we were sitting here while the cool night wind gently caressed our skin. The chill of the night was barely noticeable as a flame of excitement, but also fear, burned inside me. But it wasn’t fear of the unknown or the freedom that awaited us. It was the fear that something bad was about to happen. That this moment, which seemed so important, would suddenly turn into something threatening.

I looked at Mario, who was standing at the door and peering out, motionless, watchful. His mysterious smile of the last few days now seemed like a riddle I couldn’t solve. I turned my head towards Nathalie. When our eyes met, I knew that she felt it too. This unease, this uncertain feeling that we were on the threshold of something we couldn’t understand.

A large mobile home was parked diagonally in front of the house, its door open to the side of the house. I looked at it with growing unease. Why was it parked there? Why was the door open? Was Mario supposed to take us there? A strange feeling spread through me. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but a sudden fear gripped me: would he take us away? Did he want us to leave the house? I didn’t want to leave - at least not away from him and our beautiful life together.

Suddenly Mario turned to us. His gaze was serious, but I recognized the gentle smile in it. ‘It’s time,’ he whispered. My heart was pounding in my throat.

Without another word, he bent down and carefully lifted Nathalie into his arms. She snuggled up to him as he carried her out into the night and put her through the open door of the camper van. In my mind, I screamed: “No, Nathalie! Stay with me!” Then he came back. My heart beat faster as he leaned towards me. His arms were strong and familiar, but when he lifted me up, I couldn’t stop my body from shaking slightly. I felt the night air on my skin, felt the gentle sway as Mario lifted me into the camper van and placed me on a seat. Then he disappeared again.

Nathalie and I were now sitting alone in the motorhome. I wasn’t sure if I should or could breathe. My hands rested on my knees as I looked around. It was spacious, with a small seating area, a kitchen and a bed in the back. But I only noticed all of this in passing. I didn’t know what was about to happen.

I turned my gaze to Nathalie. Her eyes were wide open and her lips were trembling slightly. Tears were beginning to gather in her eyes and her breathing was irregular. I could feel it - the fear that filled me had also taken hold of her.

Quietly, so as not to break the silence, she whispered, “Amber… I’m scared.”

I reached for her hand, held it tightly and looked deep into her eyes. “Me too, sweetie. But whatever happens, Nathalie - I’m here. I’ll stay with you. No matter what happens now.”

Then the driver’s door opened and Mario climbed into his seat. He turned to us and gave us a smiling wink. “Ready?” he asked.

I couldn’t move. My thoughts were a jumble and my fear held me in its grip. I didn’t know what Mario was up to, I couldn’t assess where this journey would take me. But Mario didn’t seem to notice my immobility or at least seemed to calmly ignore it. He simply replied calmly: “Never mind - that’ll have to do”, and winked again.

Something stirred inside me. I knew that wink. Whenever Mario had done it in the past, something beautiful had happened afterwards. A moment of joy, a loving gesture, a moment of happiness. I wanted so much to hope that it would be the same this time.

My fingers tightened around Nathalie’s hand. I could feel that she was clinging to me too. A low hum ran through the room as the engine started. Then the camper van started moving.

I didn’t know where we were going and it didn’t matter to me at that moment. We were moving. We were leaving the house, our home, our safe haven - and entering a world we had never seen before.

After a while, Mario pulled into a small parking lot. He undid his seatbelt, opened the driver’s door and got out. I heard him walking along the outside of the vehicle, then the side door of the camper van opened.

Suddenly he stood in front of me without a word. Before I could even react, he bent down to me and carefully lifted me up. A shiver ran down my spine and my breathing quickened. “Mario…” I began, filled with fear, “what are you doing?” My voice trembled. “I’m scared.”

He held me tightly and spoke softly but firmly: “You don’t need to be afraid, Amber. Trust me.”

I felt his warmth as he carried me out of the motorhome. It wasn’t until the cool night air touched my skin that I noticed the passenger door was open. My confusion grew. He was carrying me right there. Why? What was he up to?

He gently placed me in the passenger seat and carefully pulled the seatbelt around me. His fingers briefly stroked my shoulder as he clicked the belt into place. “Don’t worry”, he said again, his voice warm. “The seatbelt is only there to protect you. So that nothing happens to you.”

Then he straightened up, looked at me for a moment and finally said with a slight smile: “There. Now you’re safe and ready for an adventure.”

I took a deep breath, trying to sort out the flood of emotions inside me. Up until this moment, I had been sitting with Nathalie, protected and hidden in the back of the camper van. But here - in the passenger seat - I was visible to the whole world. Anyone could see me. Then I looked up at him. “Mario… what’s actually happening here?”

He grinned. “We’re going on vacation.”

I blinked. “Vacation?”

Nathalie and I exchanged a look of disbelief. I felt my mouth open, but no words came out. Instead, I felt my eyes fill with tears.

“Yes”, Mario continued. “We’re going to Italy together. To Lake Garda. I want to sit on the beach with you and watch the sunset. Watch the starry sky with you completely free and dream!”

I heard a soft gasp next to me. Nathalie put her hands over her mouth. “Mario…”

Then it was as if a dam had burst. Tears ran down our cheeks, not out of sadness, but out of indescribable joy. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to say something, anything, but all the words I could think of seemed too small, too meaningless.

Mario turned around again, started the engine and drove on. I looked at Nathalie. Her happiness was written all over her face, just like mine. But when I looked back at Mario, I noticed that he seemed to have seen our tears of joy. But he didn’t say anything. Not a word. Instead, he just smiled quietly to himself, content, full of warmth.

My heart beat faster. Suddenly I began to understand. I understood why Mario had seemed so mysterious over the last few days. How long must he have been planning all this? How often had he replayed this moment in his mind? I recognized it in his smile - this deep desire to stop hiding us. He wanted to show us the world. He wanted us to be free. He wanted us to feel that we were far more than just ordinary dolls. Because that’s what we were… we are.

An indescribable feeling filled me. No fear, no insecurity - just pure, unadulterated, intimate love. Love that I was unable to put into words at that moment.

The world flew past me. I saw the looks on the faces of the other drivers. Some looked at us in amazement, full of wonder, as if we were from another world. But I also saw others - people who looked disdainfully, shaking their heads as if they didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand.

An unpleasant pang went through my chest. I suddenly remembered my first moment in the cupboard, the darkness, the feeling of being locked in. And Mario’s words afterwards, when he explained to me why he had hidden me there. And although we have met a few other people since then, it was only now that I began to understand what he was really doing here. He wasn’t just showing us the world - he was showing the world that we belonged to him. That he was no longer hiding. And that he would no longer hide us. That we belonged to him. No matter what these people thought.

I admired him for this courage. And at the same time, I felt a burning anger at those who looked down on him with these disparaging glances. And at the same time, regret. If only they knew how much love we receive. How much we are loved.

I bit my lips and thought: “I wish you were given at least half as much love.”

My chest rose and fell unevenly, my heart pounded loudly in my ears. And then came the only word I could utter at that moment.

“Thank you.”

My voice was choked with tears, barely more than a breath. But I knew that Mario heard it.

Then I saw it. The sun. It rose over the mountains, bathing the world in golden colors like I had never seen before. My heart tightened, my breath caught.

I had never seen anything more beautiful. Never felt anything more beautiful. And I cried. Without restraint. Freely. But this time not out of fear or insecurity, but out of the purest happiness I had ever felt.