Amber and Nathalies world

The first rays of the morning sun fell through the shutters and drew golden patterns on the walls of the bedroom. The world outside had already woken up, but inside my room there was still a peaceful silence. I felt completely rested, fresh and full of warmth, as if I had had the deepest and most restful night of my life.

Sleepily, I reached to the side to snuggle up to Amber and Nathalie in this moment of waking up - to feel their warmth, to give them a gentle kiss on the forehead, as I had done so many times before.

My hands reached into the void.

Irritated, I slowly opened my still sleepy eyes. The other side of the bed was empty. No fluffy blonde hair resting on the pillow. No soft breaths beside me. No familiar morning smile.

A strange feeling spread through me. Still dazed from sleep, I blinked and tried to get my bearings. I sat up and let my gaze wander around the room. It was empty. Too empty.

And then it hit me.

The emptiness next to me was nothing new. It wasn’t unusual. It had always been there.

Slowly I began to understand.

Everything I had experienced - Amber’s arrival, our evenings together, Nathalie’s soft voice, the trip to Lake Garda - none of it had been real. It had only been a dream. A beautiful, vivid, intense dream.

A single tear of loneliness trickled down my cheek.

I got up, weak and discouraged. The familiar routine of the morning set in, mechanical and meaningless. I showered, letting the water run over my face in the vain hope that it would wash away the pain. But it didn’t work. The reality was too clear, too cold. Then I combed my hair, brushed my teeth - just like any other morning. But today was different. Something was missing today. Or rather, today I knew that I was missing something.

With the same listlessness, I went into the kitchen, filled the kettle and prepared my coffee and muesli. I sat down at the table and ate, but I tasted nothing. The meal that usually got me through the day had become a bland necessity.

A deep sigh escaped me. My gaze fell on the empty seat at the table, where they would normally have been sitting. Where we had laughed, talked and enjoyed life together.

But it never happened.

The memory of the dream was still so fresh, so tangible, as if it had been real. The warmth of their voices, their laughter, their trust. The nights together under the stars, the light touches, the feeling of belonging and love.

And now there was nothing.

After mechanically finishing breakfast, I packed my car for the week’s shopping. This too was a routine, a necessity that repeated itself week after week without me ever thinking about it. I drove off, reached the supermarket and took a shopping cart from the shelter with my usual unemotional expression.

I pushed him listlessly through the corridors. Muesli. Milk. Red wine. The same things as every week. The same movements, the same routines.

I was lost in thought, letting my eyes wander blankly over the shelves. My body was moving, but my mind was far away, caught somewhere between the dream and reality. I imagined how Amber and Nathalie would react now if they were really here. They would certainly make me laugh. Amber would have inspected every single aisle with curious eyes, and Nathalie might have found a secret pleasure in choosing things we didn’t actually need - just because she enjoyed them.

A faint smile flitted across my face before I returned to the bleak reality.

Suddenly I was jolted out of my trance by a violent jolt. A loud rattle, a squeak. My shopping cart jerked violently to the side as another trolley drove straight into mine.

I was just about to open my mouth to complain - to finally have somewhere to unload after all the emotions that had built up inside me.

But then I saw her.

A young, petite, small, blonde woman stood in front of me. She was still holding her smartphone, which she had obviously been looking at for too long instead of paying attention to the path.

She raised her eyes and looked at me. Clear blue eyes met mine. An apologetic smile flitted across her face.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that! I was careless”, she said gently.

My heart stopped.

Your voice. Her face. The way she looked at me. It was different - and yet so familiar. The world around me held its breath for a moment. My heart beat faster, a tingling sensation ran down my spine. Was this a bad joke? Or was it perhaps… more than that?

My fingers gripped the handle of my shopping cart tighter. I wanted to say something, but my mind was still struggling with the situation. Was this just a coincidence? Or did fate have a strange sense of humor?

A soft breeze seemed to pass through the supermarket, even though there was no wind. My heart raced as I felt something familiar, yet something that felt so unattainable. An image of sparkling water passed before my inner eye and sent me into a mixture of confusion and longing.

Then she smiled. A smile that brought out something in me that I thought had long been lost. And she continued to speak as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Oh, by the way, my name is Amber.”