Worrisome Thoughts
Over the last few days, I hadn’t failed to notice that Mario was often walking around with a slightly pained expression. When we asked him what was wrong, he usually just waved it off and said, “Nothing wild, just a tooth that’s giving me trouble.” But when he finally explained that two teeth would have to be pulled shortly, Nathalie was visibly concerned.
Today was the day of his appointment with the dental surgeon. Mario got up early, worked on his computer for a while, and then prepared for the appointment. Nathalie watched him with wide eyes as he put on his jacket. Her hands were in her lap, but I could see her fingers curling around each other nervously.
“Are you driving carefully?” she asked quietly, stepping closer to him.
Mario smiled and gently stroked her arm. “Of course, Nathalie. It’s just a dentist’s office, not a dangerous expedition.”
But Nathalie was not reassured. She stepped even closer, wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him tightly. “I’d love to come with you…”
Mario laughed softly. “That’s really not necessary. I’ll be back in a few hours. And it’s only two teeth being pulled, not heart muscle surgery. You don’t need to worry.”
Nathalie looked at him for a moment, then kissed him on the cheek. “Still. Please come back quickly.”
“I promise.” With these words, Mario left the house.
As soon as the door had fallen shut, Nathalie let herself fall onto the couch with a deep sigh. She drummed her fingers on her knee, kept looking towards the door as if she could bring Mario back faster by doing so. She kept glancing at the clock, but the hands moved far too slowly for her impatience.
“Nathalie, it’s just a dentist appointment,” I said gently, sitting down next to her.
“I know,” she murmured. “But I don’t like the thought of him being there alone, in pain.”
I smiled. “You really care about him.”
“Of course. I love him more than anything – just like you. I want him to be fine. That he’s happy. Laughs… with us.”
I wanted to say something else to her, but at that moment we heard footsteps outside the door. Nathalie jumped up as if she had been waiting for them the whole time.
No sooner had the door opened than Nathalie was standing there, with wide, worried eyes. Mario entered, looking a little exhausted, but by no means weakened. But that was no reason for Nathalie to relax.
“How are you? Did everything go well?” she asked quickly, holding out a cool bag. Before Mario could answer, she reached for his hand with her other hand and led him directly into the living room.
Mario sat down on the couch with a sigh, while Nathalie poured him a glass of water and watched him anxiously.
“Eff’ing if fine. Eff’ing if g’ea’. O’ly ‘ill ‘umb,” he finally said with a hint of an amused smirk.
“Oh!” she just replied and carefully applied the cooling bag to his cheek.
I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how attentively she was taking care of him. She handed him another pillow and put the remote control in his hand – as if he were recovering from major surgery.
Mario sighed and went along with it. He didn’t stay in the living room for long, but disappeared back into his study after a short time to continue working. But Nathalie’s worried gaze followed him until he was out of sight. And again and again she got up, looked briefly into Mario’s office door and then went back to me.
In the evening, we were sitting together on the couch, classical music filled the room with gentle sounds. Nathalie had snuggled up close to Mario and even spread out a blanket to cover him. Her hand held his tightly, as if she didn’t want to let go of him for a moment.
Mario let it happen, didn’t say anything about it – but I saw that it touched him.
It was only when Mario decided to go to bed later that her grip loosened a little.
“I would take you upstairs with me,” he said gently and – now that the numbness had finally worn off – understandably. “But I’m not supposed to lift anything heavy today. So you’ll stay here a little longer?”
I nodded. “Yes, we’ll chat a little longer.”
Mario said goodbye with a smile and left us alone.
Nathalie didn’t say anything for a few minutes. She just stared in front of her, her fingers playing with the fabric of the blanket.
“Why were you so worried all day?” I finally asked quietly.
Nathalie looked at me, then lowered her eyes. “I know it was just a dentist appointment,” she began slowly. “But there was something else that I couldn’t get out of my mind.”
I waited in silence.
Then she asked a question that suddenly made my heart sink: “What if Mario is away for a long time? What if he has to go to the hospital?” She paused. “What if something happens to him?”
I swallowed.
“What will become of us, Amber?”
I didn’t know what to say. To be honest, I had never thought about it before.
“I can’t imagine a life different from the one we are living now, with Mario by our side. With you.”
I was silent for a while. Then I said cautiously, “Maybe it’s best not to think about it. Maybe we should just enjoy every day and be grateful for having it.”
Nathalie looked at me, then nodded slowly. “Yes… maybe you’re right.”
But as I immersed myself in the silence, I realized that a restlessness was stirring in me too. I now also wondered: what if?
I had never imagined it, but now that Nathalie had said it, the thought suddenly seemed more tangible.
The minutes passed. At some point, Nathalie laid her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. We didn’t say anything more. We just sat there, snuggled up close together, while the light dimmed and the music faded away quietly in the background.
A single, silent tear ran down my cheek as I closed my eyes and sank into a dreamless sleep.